


How It All Started

by GillyWatson



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-10 02:49:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GillyWatson/pseuds/GillyWatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur carries around a journal that he never shares with anyone but is constantly writing in. Merlin grows curious and can't help but look.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What's In The Journal?

Merlin raced across the court yard from the stables, and entered Arthur’s room in a rush.

“I’m sorry I’m late again, Arthur…my Lord,” he apologized while out of breath. “The horses, they”

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur interrupted, “go and shine my armor, will you? Just because you’re late does not mean you don’t have to do any of the other work,” Arthur ordered. He began to sit down by the table that stood in his chambers but on his way down he noticed a leather journal that he had earlier set down. Although the journal was closed he hastily picked it up and rushed over to his drawer and put the journal inside it.

“I’ll be on my way then,” Merlin looked at him suspiciously then picked up the pile of silver that had been carelessly set on the floor. He scurried out of the room with full arms and still managed to close the door behind himself. Once Merlin left his room Arthur pulled the leather journal back out from the hiding place it had just been rushed into. He signed and sat in his seat, as he did he opened the journal and scribbled something else in it.

***

On Merlin’s way out of the castle he stumbled upon Guinevere; literally stumbled, because of the armor.

“Oh, hi. Sorry. Didn't see you there, Gwen,” He smiled in his usual humble, friendly way and lifted up the armor an inch so she would understand that was the reason he had bumped into her.

“No worries. Where are you headed? The armory?” She asked Merlin, noticing the pile of armor he was lugging.

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice made it obvious he was struggling.

“I’m heading in the same direction, would you mind if I tagged along?”

“No, not at all,” Merlin smiled and continued walking. Guinevere offered to help carry some of Arthur’s armor but Merlin declined and tried harder to appear to have no issues carrying the heavy metal. The two of them walked quietly together throughout the yard, they were enjoying the weather. It was a beautiful day and the sun shined brightly with a breeze that made the air refreshingly warm.

                “Have you ever noticed a brown, leather journal or notebook of some sort that belongs to Arthur?” Merlin asked, interrupting the silence.

                Gwen thought it was a strange and sudden question but gladly answered, “Yes, actually I have. It’s always weird, though. He’s always drawing or writing something in it and the moment Arthur notices me he closes it.”

                “How long has that been happening?” Merlin was growing curious.

                “I don’t know, couple of weeks I think,” she thought for a moment before answering. Merlin nodded and drifted into thought about how he might sneak into Arthur’s room and steal a peek at the journal. _No, I shouldn’t invade his personal space…_ Merlin thought to himself. The truth is Merlin has been having some feeling for Arthur for quite a bit of time, except he has failed to admit that to himself.

                The rest of the walk went on without conversation and the two said their goodbyes once Guinevere reached her destination. Merlin continued to walk on, thinking of what could be in the journal worth hiding. He often realized that it could have something to do with who Arthur had feelings for, and each time this thought brought a pinch to his chest. These weren’t the first times he’s felt this pinch, he’s just felt it so often it has become second nature to ignore it. He entered the armory, cleaned, polished, and hung up Arthur’s armor as usual. Thankfully for Merlin the process has become easier with the amount of times he’s done it. The warlock made his way back to his bedroom in the palace and stretched out upon his bed with a book of spells.  

                Time dragged horribly slow until it was time for Merlin to meet Arthur in his chambers to prepare him for bed. Merlin had been extremely bored because Gauis was out of town for the next couple of days for a “special supply trip” which Merlin knew was just his way of getting a vacation for two or three days; and on a calm day like this one Merlin knew he would not be needed. When the time came Merlin jumped out of bed and made his way up to Arthur’s room. He knocked on the large doors and with Arthur’s permission, entered. Merlin stopped in his tracks when he saw Arthur standing there without his shirt on. He brushed it off and came up with an excuse for himself. _I was only so surprised because I’m early and even when I get here on time he hasn’t begun preparing for bed. Yeah, that’s it. That makes sense._ He convinced himself but still gave a swallow before continuing on.

                Merlin hastily walked over to Arthur’s dresser and pulled a sleep shirt out. He made his way back to Arthur and handed it to him. His breath stopped for a moment as he looked at Arthur’s strong but smooth skin. Merlin didn’t really know if it was smooth, but it sure did look like it to him. At least the parts without scars from battle wounds. _A brave one, he is…_ Merlin began to think but stopped himself.

                “Thanks,” Arthur said with a nod of his head before pulling the shirt over the top of his head. Merlin gave a shy smile in return and fetched some water and a cloth so Arthur could clean up a bit before going to bed. Once that had been done along with all of the other before-bed chores, Merlin pulled back the blanket on Arthur’s bed and stepped aside so he could crawl in. Once Arthur had, he blew out all of the candles.

                “Good night, Arthur,” Merlin said as he left the bedroom.

                “ ‘Night, Merlin,” he heard just as he closed the door. This made him smile and maybe even blush a little; he doesn’t usually get a response back. Before Merlin walked down to his own bedroom, he lingered outside the door. _Should I wait for him to fall asleep then look at the journal?_ He contemplated for a bit then came to the decision that he would. Merlin silently waited a couple of minutes before he slyly opened the door once more.

                Merlin walked into the door way but went no further. His eyes gave a quick flash of yellow as Arthur’s drawer opened and his leather journal floated out of it. It flew over to Merlin and he gripped it tight in his hands. He took another moment to soundlessly argue with himself about whether or not to open it. As usual, his curiosity got the best of him. Merlin untied the thick string that kept the journal shut and opened to a random page. It was _him._ All of it, Merlin flipped through the pages and saw nothing but sketches of himself that sometimes included little notes on something he had done that day. His jaw lowered slightly as he read brief descriptions of feelings he himself had been feeling but ignored. He had seen more than enough and hurriedly floating the journal back in its original spot, as soon as he did he shut the door, then ran throughout the corridors back to his bedroom. He slammed the door behind him and face planted into his bed, confused about everything. 

 


	2. He Tried.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is unsettled after taking a peak at Arthur's journal and it shows. Merlin only begins to understand what he feels when Arthur makes his move.

The sun outside had completely disappeared and shimmering stars dotted the sky beside the waning moon as Merlin still laid awake in bed. His stomach churned and his heart continued to give little flutters every once in a while. Arthur’s journal was filled with pictures and thoughts of Merlin, almost all of them positive and surprisingly fluffy. He was also impressed with how well drawn the sketches were, no one had any idea how great of an artist Arthur was.

“I like how his hair gets untidy from the wind, or maybe simply from when he doesn’t clean it up well. I’m not sure why I enjoy it so much, then again I’m not sure about a lot of what I’ve been putting in here.” Was one of the thoughts Merlin had recently read from Arthur’s journal and it seemed to run around his mind. _My hair? What’s so great about my hair? He likes my hair…_ Merlin smiled to himself for a moment, he didn’t know why. He also didn’t know why he felt a sort of happy sensation at the idea of Arthur having special feelings for him.

For hours Merlin sat in bed rambling on in his head, silently relaying different comments from Arthur’s journal and trying to figure out what he thought of them. He was flattered by all of the written compliments but also confused by them. Merlin kept dismissing the idea that he felt the same way about Arthur the second it entered. The later it got into the night the more he began to accept his feelings for Arthur, but he still wouldn’t allow them to fully surface.

With some light pink still present on his cheeks, Merlin stood from his bed and walked out to the main room. He rummaged through Gaius’s drawers and cabinets for any kind of sleep remedy because he knew he would not be getting any sleep without one.

***

The following morning Merlin stumbled into Arthur’s room and tripped over the table leg as he made his way in. The fall woke him up a bit and with the sudden jolt of energy he quickly stood back up with an apologetic smile. Merlin has always been an extremely clumsy fellow and the lack of sleep only worsened that quality.

“You alright, Merlin?” Arthur looked at him first with concern then briskly switched back over to a more sarcastic tone.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. What are you talking about?” Merlin smiled idiotically and as he finished the sentence he set his hand on the edge of the table only to knock over a plate with a loud crash. In unity, the two of them knelt down to pick it up and their hands touched as they both reached for the plate.

“Sorry! Sorry…” Merlin apologized, again, frantically with his hand still on Arthur’s. For a moment the two of them sat there hand in hand, staring at each other. Their hearts were beating unsteadily and the natural color of their cheeks reddened slightly. Merlin grew nervous and embarrassed so he quickly picked up the plate, stood up, and set the silver back in its original spot.

Arthur stood back up as well, he was still turned to Merlin and the two took another moment to look at the other. At that moment Arthur contemplated kissing Merlin, and almost did before Merlin interrupted his train of thought.

“Are you ready to head down to training?” Merlin asked while he picked up the armor that was not brought down yesterday.

“Yeah,” Arthur sounded slightly disappointed but made sure to stand tall once again and act as if there was no reason for him to feel disappointed. For a while he hid his feelings for Merlin from himself, but it didn’t work for long so he retrieved his journal and wrote them down; and made sure to hide it from everyone else. If his father ever found out he had feelings for a boy, a servant boy too, he would never see the light of day again.

The warlock and prince made their way to the training field in silence. Without the other knowing, they each stole longing glances. Merlin was finally beginning to admit to himself what he felt, and he didn’t like it. Those thoughts have always been there but were not appreciated. _On the bright side_ , Merlin thought, _they pushed me even harder to save his life on several occasions. True, he is very ignorant and prideful but he is also kind, brave, handsome and much more._

***

After the several hours long battle training session had ended, Merlin and Arthur made their way back up to Arthur’s bedroom to prepare him for dinner with his father. Merlin struggled helping Arthur dress even more than he did the previous night.

Arthur made friendly conversation with Merlin as he prepared; he really did enjoy talking to the warlock, and was disappointed to notice him acting a little off.

“Merlin, are you alright?” Arthur asked after pulling on his shirt.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine,” Merlin tried to put on a reassuring smile then turned to grab Arthur’s dress coat. The moment Merlin turned back around Arthur stood closer to him.

“Are you sure? You’ve seemed a little out of it today? I mean you always are, but today was more than usual,” he gave a small laugh as stood slightly over Merlin who swallowed with a fast beating heart before replying.

“Yes, absolutely. Nothing wrong,” Merlin’s words jumbled together in a way that made it obvious he was not okay.

 Arthur brought his hand up and set it on Merlin’s cheek. For a moment they stared at each other, appreciating the color in their eyes. With a pounding heart and a seemingly upset stomach, Arthur leaned in and planted a kiss on Merlin’s lips. Merlin’s eyes widened in shock before he could begin to enjoy the kiss. His chest hammered and his knees grew weak beneath him. Once Arthur pulled away from the kiss Merlin’s eyes dotted around, taking in Arthur’s face.

“I-I…” Merlin stuttered not even a sentence before running off. Leaving Arthur sad, alone, and disappointed in his bedroom. Arthur watched Merlin run away and tried his hardest to keep a tear from leaving his eye before he picked up his coat which Merlin dropped on the floor in his surprise.

Arthur threw it on and walked alone to dinner, he made sure to put on his normal, casual smile before entering the dining hall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave any suggestions or comments on my writing!  
> I plan on adding more so let me know if you have any ideas for future chapters.


	3. A Dream Maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to anyone who read the previous Chapter 3  
> I deleted it because I felt like I speeded the story up too much  
> Sorry for the confusion! I hope you like this chapter more

Once again, Merlin laid in bed unsure of what to think or do. He still had flutters in his stomach and his heart was racing like it was finishing a marathon. Thoughts of whether or not he enjoyed being kissed by Arthur were marching along in crazy patterns throughout his head.

"What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to think? What does he think? What does he feel? I left him there... I left him standing there? Who would do something like that? Me, I would. I have," Merlin beat up and knocked himself down asking questions and giving insults to himself. Until after several hours he drifted to sleep while still muttering harsh words. 

***

The next morning Merlin was woken by the sunshine of the early afternoon; meaning he was late. Due to his late night he slept in, but that was not enough to make him get out of bed. Slowly he dragged himself up and sat on the edge of the bed and for a moment he silently stared at the floor boards that were covered in dust which he blamed on the absence of Gauis. As if on que Merlin heard the door open to the main center of the physician's quarters and the sound of a familiar shuffle followed. Although Merlin was more than happy about Gauis's return, he seemed to be glued to the bed. Thinking Merlin had left, Gauis walked into his bedroom and gave a small jump at the sight of him. Merlin didn't even turn his head. 

"Merlin? What are you doing here, still? Arthur's probably wondering where you've been. I hope you haven't done this the whole time I was gone," Gauis said in his usual tone presented at Merlin who managed to get his voice working just enough to reply.

"No, I haven't," he began to speak gradually, "I over slept. I'm sorry." I'm always saying sorry, he added in his head. 

"Merlin, are you alright?" Gauis grew concerned and made his way over to Merlin who immediately turned to him with the best smile he could muster.

"Yeah! I'm just fine. Had some trouble sleeping last, is all," Merlin quickly stood up and threw over his jacket, then walked out the door. Gauis stood there slightly confused but he figured Merlin was alright. Well, at least alright enough for him to get involved. The warlock made his way through the castle corridors and walked through Arthur's bedroom door only to find him in the same position Gauis had found Merlin in. The moment Arthur noticed Merlin he stood up with his usual expression; not really a smile but certainly not a frown. 

"They you are Merlin. I was wondering where my idiotic servant boy was up to," Arthur was acting as he did before he had realized what he felt for Merlin, if not then he was acting colder. 

"Sorry, I had over slept. Gauis is normally here to wake me up but he was out the past couple of days," he tried to explain. My hair, it's messy. Merlin realized and remembered what he had read in Arthur's journal. He tried not to turn a little pink and wiped the whole thought from his mind.

"I suppose that's understandable," Arthur said blandly. Arthur had already set himself up for training and because they were late the two of them quickly made their way down to the feild. Afterwords Arthur continued in what seemed to be his favorite practice, barking orders at Merlin. The wizard was doing surprisingly well considering the amount of sleep he received the previous night. Not to say it wasn't difficult. Merlin was barly making it but there was nothing he could do but obey. Although Merlin often complained, he enjoyed working for Arthur

The work was hard today but that wasn't the worst part. Merlin had no sighting of the journal and Arthur was acting as if the previous night had never happened. This increased Merlin's confusion and he was beginning to wonder if he had dreamt up the whole thing.


	4. It's Finally Happening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took so long to publish this chapter! I've been caught up with school work and try to catch up on some sleep. I plan on releasing another chapter tomorrow night.  
> A song I liked listening to while writing this chapter was "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias  
> I hope you enjoy!

Merlin made his way to Arthur's chambers in the morning and walked into an empty room.

"Arthur?" he began searching the room but found no one. "Arthur!" He searched all parts of the room before swiftly leaving. Merlin ran from the room to the dinning hall in hopes of finding Uther. Merlin hastily ran into the dinning hall and Uther looked up from his plate obviously in a dark mood.

"King Uther," Merlin was slightly out of breathe, "my Lord," he made sure to add. "Do you know the whereabouts of Arthur? He isn't in his chambers and he's usually still asleep when I come in in the morning." Uther's angry expression transitioned to an anxious one.

"He wasn't?" King Uther set his goblet down.

"No, sire," Merlin responded quickly. 

"No training, no visitors, no events, and I am certainly unaware of any hunting trips," Uther sat in his chair looking grave and filled with thought as he tried to come up with an explanation. He then stood from his seat and walked over to Merlin. "Thank you for informing me, Merlin," Uther then made his way to the guards that stood in the doorway. "Send out a search party and if you find any information on where Arthur might be located do not hesitate to tell me," he then ushered his way out of the dinning room. Merlin paced around in small circles for a short moment then left the room as well. He quickly glided through the corridors and out to the stables and made sure to take a bag before leaving.

Merlin slung himself onto his horse and hurriedly exited the castle gates, out into the lower part of the kingdom and to the woods beyond. Merlin wondered around for hours without any possible sightings of Arthur. For a while his stomach grumbled but he refused to stop looking. Even if the kiss between him and Arthur was simply a dream, it was a dream that helped him realize his true feelings, although, he would've spent hours searching for Arthur even before his possible dream. Because of the hours spent roaming the woods Merlin has had time to reflect, and had been struggling with it. 

"If it was a dream why was it so vivid? What am I supposed to do with these...feelings now that I recognize I have them? Does he have them, too? What if it's not a dream? Then I certainly ruined it by running away... Is there a way to fix it?" Questions rambled not stop in Merlin's head and when they did pause it would only be a brief moment caused by a sound in nearby brush. Falling twigs, shifting leaves, Merlin hoped all such things were signs of Arthur but none of them were.

Merlin turned his torso around to grab a bite of bread and did so rapidly and without stopping his horse. He would waste no time. He threw a piece of bread into his mouth and continued forward. A few hours later Merlin's hope began to wane and he realized he might have been overreacting; but his hope reached a new high when he noticed a cloud of smoke that was only a couple of minutes away. He gave his horse a little kick and sent them off flying. It wasn't long till Merlin reached the fire that had created the smoke and was not disappointed at who he found at the site.

"Arthur," Merlin hopped off his horse and Arthur stood from the log he had been sitting on. "What have you been doing out here?" Merlin asked as he gave Arthur a hug the prince seemed unable to give back. 

"Waiting for you, of course," Arthur said casually and sat back down. "Took you long enough, I was starting to think you weren't going to find me! Hungry?" Arthur tossed an apple in Merlin's direction. Merlin caught it and took a bite. 

"Thanks," he said with half the bite still in his mouth. "And don't tell me you ran off into the woods, knowing and hoping I would find you." Arthur shrugged.

"I did," he said as if it was nothing new.

"Why?" Merlin set the apple down and sat beside Arthur.

"Because I," he stopped for a moment then continued, " I need to talk to... about what happened the other night. And I feel like if we talked anywhere in the castle someone would overhear us." It was obvious that Arthur was having trouble spitting out the words as he stared at the ground.

"Alright," Merlin nodded slowly hoping that Arthur would continue talking. He was unsure if he was happy or upset that what happened wasn't a dream and prayed that his would be his second chance. 

"I'm sorry," Arthur said the words quickly, trying to get them out. "I shouldn't have done that. It must have made you uncomfortable and... it was just unnecessary," Arthur didn't want to say he didn't mean to kiss him because maybe, just maybe, Merlin might feel the same way and would be hurt by the comment.

Merlin took a moment before answering, "No, it's alright," he blushed and took a second before continuing. "I...I really didn't mind." Arthur looked up and turned his face to Merlin who turned to look at him as well. Both of their cheeks turned a light pink prior to them both looking back down at the ground below their feet.

"Good," was all Arthur managed to say, though there was so much more on his mind. Merlin opened his mouth to say something but shut it once again. "What?" Arthur noticed and turned back to Merlin.

"Nothing," Merlin assured but Arthur's expression told him that he should just let it out. "It's just... well," Merlin thought of a way he could possibly put anything into words, but he couldn't come up with anything. 

"I think I know what you mean," Arthur stated and Merlin looked back up and faced Arthur.

"You do?" he questioned, doubting that Arthur really knew what he wanted to say. But Arthur did know, at least he hoped he did. Arthur placed his hand on Merlin's cheek and he was shaking slightly. For a man trained to have no fear he seemed to have a lot of it in this moment. 

Merlin's heart automatically picked up its pace once Arthur placed his hand on his cheek and Merlin's eyes darted from Arthur to his hand then back to Arthur. Arthur leaned in slowly and closed his eyes in process. Merlin nervously brought himself forward. Their noses touched and Merlin lightly closed his eyes and brought a hand up; resting it gently in Arthur's neck. The two had a leisurely pace as they found each other's lips. They moved with together and every second brought on another spark in their chests. Merlin pulled away to regather his breath and Arthur brought his head down, planting tiny kisses along Merlin's neck. 

"So you did know," Merlin said with a smile.

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur tried to hold back his own smile but did a terrible job.


	5. Arrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur finally have the moment they had been waiting for, but it's interrupted.

Merlin and Arthur sat on the log embracing each other. The air around them became muggy and warm as the sun set further down from the sky. Not even the pink of the sunset light got between them as their lips played together and their hearts fluttered. Neither of them knew what was going to happen after words, in fact they might have even feared what could happen. It didn't matter to them though, not in that moment. Right then the only thoughts they had were on how brilliant they thought the moment was.

Arthur’s hand had a loose grip on Merlin’s neck and his other hand wrapped around the warlock’s torso. The hand that rested on Merlin’s back would occasionally tightly grip a bundle of Merlin’s shirt as if it was Arthur’s subconscious way of saying he wanted more. 

Merlin’s fingers were entwined into the mess of Arthur’s hair. Sometimes they would hold onto the back of Arthur’s head and then other times they would let the strands of hair flow freely through the gaps between each finger. Occasionally one of Merlin’s hands would slide down to Arthur’s cheek.   
To them what felt like only a few short minutes would be over an hour in real time. 

Arthur dropped his other hand and wrapped his arm around Merlin along with the other one. He slung himself off of the log and onto the blanket that had been placed over the dirt ground and brought Merlin down with him. Merlin was on top of Arthur and pulled away from their kiss with a questioning look. Arthur placed his hand back on Merlin’s cheek and gave a soft smile as he enjoyed the wonderful view. 

“Arthur,” Merlin was obviously about object and say they should begin making their way back to Camelot which is something Arthur did not want to do. As happy as Merlin was he knew people would wonder where the two of them had gone off to. Hell, Arthur already had a search party after him.

“Merlin, hush,” Arthur demanded, wanting to make this last as long as possible. But no matter what either of them wanted the moment they were gratefully enjoying came to an instant end when an arrow came from behind a nearby tree and struck Merlin.

“Merlin!” Arthur’s eyes widened with panic and he got out from under Merlin. He shakily set Merlin down on the ground, “Merlin? I never thought I would say this but speak. Say something, anything!” He urged until Merlin’s eyes fluttered open slightly, “I’ll be fine… Gauis… he can…” Merlin spoke words that were barely audible but were understood. Arthur tore a large piece of cloth from his shirt and wrapped it around Merlin’s torso to help slow the bleeding. He then quickly scooped the skinny boy up from the dirt and marched over to the area the arrow was shot from.

“Who was it? WHO,” Arthur grumbled until a Knight of his own came out from behind a tree cowering. “Get on your horse and go as fast as you could ever go. Meet the physician Gauis and let him know to prepare to help Merlin with the serious injury you have inflicted,” Arthur’s words were unbelievable harsh and the Knight hopped onto his horse without a second thought before riding off. 

Arthur turned down to limp Merlin then looked back up and made his way to the horse Merlin had brought. He laid Merlin on top of the horse in an uncomfortable position. Arthur climbed onto the same horse then sat Merlin up in front of him and held onto the injured with one hand and onto the horse with the other. The horse sped off and Arthur held Merlin as well as he could and even with his difficulties he made the horse speed up.

As he rode on there was a grave look on his face that didn't go away and the sky that surrounded them turned into a dark, bitter blue. Every now and then Arthur looked down to the body he gripped tightly and muttered the words “It’ll be alright, Merlin,” he would pause before saying, “you have to be and you will be.”  
After the three hour journey being finished in an endless hour and a half, Arthur jumped from his horse and ran to the physician’s quarters while carrying Merlin and ignoring all of the guards attempts to help him carry his “servant”. 

Arthur barged into Gauis’s room that was already prepared for Merlin. Gauis had been waiting and guided Arthur in bringing Merlin to the bed.  
“I tried to slow the bleeding, but I-I don’t think it worked very well. It wouldn't stop,” Arthur spit out in a rush.

“Calm down Arthur,” Gauis said as he untied the cloth from Merlin. Arthur did as he was told immediately, at least physically. His mind still stressed and sang worried little songs.  
Gauis removed Merlin’s shirt which revealed an ugly wound on his lower rib cage. Gauis rapidly washed the blood off from Merlin’s chest and got a closer look at the wound. He shuffled from shelf to shelf until he found the bottle he was looking for. Gauis raced back over the bed and poured a few drops from the bottle onto Merlin’s wound. Arthur just stood there silently, wishing he could do something as Gauis sped back over from a drawer. From the drawer Gaius had taken bandages and he quickly but carefully wrapped the gauze around Merlin’s wound.

“We’re lucky, you know?” he said after hastily treating Merlin. “If that arrow went an inch in any other direction, Merlin would most certainly be dead.”  
Arthur gave a small nod, “thank you for treating him so quickly, Gauis.”  
“Oh I would do that for him any day, but he is not healed yet. What I've done is only a quick clean and protection in order to prevent him from bleeding anymore. He will likely receive a fever from bacteria that could have entered the wound and he will certainly be dehydrated for the next couple of days.” Both Gauis and Arthur stared at Merlin’s pale and blank face as this was explained. “He will need someone to keep an eye on him and give water every once in a while and I hate to ask but I have important errands to run so I cannot stay…”

“I can do it Gauis, I have nothing else for tonight and if needed, anything I was planned to attend in the morning can be canceled or skipped,” Arthur answered the unasked question with an empty expression but his voice gave away that he really wanted to stay.

“Thank you,” Gauis gave a humble bow and hobbled out of the room. As soon as he left Arthur knelt down beside the bed and delicately poured some water into Merlin’s mouth. He set the cup back on the table and once again knelt beside Merlin’s bed and grabbed his hand.

“You’ll be okay, Merlin,” Arthur kissed Merlin’s cheek and remained in the same spot by the bed for hours and he only got up to retrieve and put away Merlin’s water. Hours into the night Arthur fell asleep with his head beside Merlin’s.


	6. Under His Care

The sun rolled back up into the sky and soft light entered the physician's chambers. Merlin began shift in the bed and Arthur woke up from the movement. He realized that he had fallen asleep on floor by the bedside while holding Merlin's hand and shot back up. Arthur moved to a table on the other side of the room and Merlin's hand closed at the loss of Arthur's. 

"Ar..." Merlin mumbled still asleep, "Arthur..." Merlin's face though fast asleep, showed great distress. At the sound of his name Arthur turned to face Merlin again, but still sat at the table.

"Arthur...you can't...you have to go..." Merlin mumbled and Arthur fell stood back over the edge of the bed.

"Merlin what are you talking about?" He asked with confusion as to why Merlin would want him to leave.

"Run..." Merlin's eyes remained closed and his breathe became shaky. "Go...they're coming...I'll hold them off..."

"Merlin?" Arthur stood over the bed and stared down at Merlin unsure of what to do. Merlin laid in the bed uttering worried words and Arthur didn't know how to fix the nightmare that crouched in Merlin's mind.

"I know..." Merlin's words became more reassuring. "I know...I-I love..." Arthur grabbed Merlin's hand and subconsciously hoped to here his name. "just leave me." Were the last words Merlin spoke before he shot up gasping for air. Arthur quickly let go of Merlin's hand and stood farther from the bed as Merlin shook and stared down at the blankets. For a moment Arthur stood there then remembered the water. He picked up the glass and handed it Merlin who took it without looking up. Merlin gulped down the whole glass and handed it back to Arthur.

"Thanks Gai-" he stopped when he looked up to see Arthur, "Thank you, Arthur." He had just woken from a terrible dream where an Enchantress had managed to summon several creatures of magic such as goblins, pixies, giants, and plenty more. She and the creatures attacked Camelot and Merlin urged Arthur to flee from the kingdom that was engulfed in flames. The dream was so vivid Merlin couldn't remember if what happened in the forest was a part of it or not, but once a terrible shock of pain hit his chest figured at least part of it must have been real. Merlin's hand flew up to the bandaged wound and Arthur marched over to the table covered in bottles and on his way set the glass down. Arthur rummaged through the bottles until he picked one up and examined it for a moment before handing it to Merlin.

"I think this is the one Gauis said would ease the pain when you woke up," Arthur said hoping that it was what Gauis had recommended. 

"You think it is?" Merlin looked up Arthur with a raised eyebrow. 

"I am almost certain it is," Arthur's voice sounded unquestionable.

"Well it isn't labeled as a poison," Merlin shrugged and took a swing of the supposed pain killer. Both of their heads turned to the door when a Knight barged in.

"Arthur, sire the King requests your presence in his chambers." Arthur turned to Merlin and put a hand on his shoulder before exiting the room. Merlin was left alone with his thoughts and the quiet around him. After his previous dream he didn't want to sleep and he winced in pain whenever he attempted to move which gave him no choice but to sit there and recollect what had happened. 

***

"You asked for me, Father?" Arthur entered Uther's chambers to see Uther staring out the window deep in thought.

"Yes, there is something I must speak to you about," he turned from the window and walked to Arthur. "The knight who shot your servant, he said he saw something...unusual." Arthur's heart began to pound a little and he grew nervous as to what the knight proclaimed he had seen. 

"And what was it he saw?" he spoke as if there was nothing that could have been seen.

"He said that he had seen Merlin on top of you, that being the reason why he shot him. He thought that Merlin was attacking but he claimed that after he had shot the reason Merlin was above you seemed to be uh... a different nature. That you two were... well it does sound quite a bit crazy but he said he had seen you two showing each other affection. Kissing, you could say." Uther had never had a reason to question Arthur's sexual orientation but he figured that he should still ask his son about the event. 

"That's absurd," Arthur calmly argued. "Must have been a trick of the eye. Merlin was on top of me but only because he had just tripped over the log and stumbled over me. He is very clumsy if you haven't noticed," he easily explained his lie to his father. Uther nodded and thought he had no need to consider Arthur's words.

"Yes the boy has seemed to have that quality. So Arthur, what had you been doing out there in the first place? No one received any word of your whereabouts."

"My apologies, I had woken up early and found myself unable to fall asleep again. It seemed like a nice day outside so I took a horse and went out thinking that I would be back around the time everyone would begin moving about the castle unfortunately I had managed to get myself lost."

"Then I am glad we were able to find you and direct you home," Uther smiled and pattered Arthur's back. "Now you must excuse me, I have other business to take care of," and with that Uther left. Arthur exited his father's chambers and walked back up to the physician's quarters. 

Merlin immediately sat up in bed when he heard the door open and was happy to see it was Arthur who walked in.

"Is your wound feeling an better?" Arthur asked casually and sat down on one of table benches.

"To be honest not really, it stings when I move even just in bed and my head is killing me," Merlin was pale and suffering from dehydration that the water wasn't fixing fast enough. Arthur refilled the glass and passed it to Merlin who took a few long sips. "Thank you. Did Gauis say when he would be back?"

"Not exactly, he said he might be a few days but he didn't specify where he was going or exactly how many days he would be away. He did say that you might feel a little feverish and dehydrated but should be fine," Arthur explained.

"He left me under your care? I'm done for," Merlin dramatically exclaimed. 

"Oh don't worry, I've watched you be an idiot long enough to know exactly what not to do," Arthur slapped Merlin's shoulder.

"Ow! I'm injured you prat," Merlin joked with a smile and Arthur couldn't help but smile back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter may not have been very interesting I'm going to try to put a little more into the next one


	7. And Then There Was Gwaine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As things were finally starting to work with Arthur, someone else begins trying to sweep Merlin off his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I didn't add a chapter for a long time. I have been having writer's block recently. Hopeful it won't happen again and   
> I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Merlin had fallen asleep once again and Arthur was enjoying his time by Merlin's bedside. Although, he would not admit that to anyone, even himself. A few hours after Merlin had fallen asleep a knock on the door made Arthur jump a little.

"Come in," he stood from the bench he had been sitting on. Gwaine entered the room immediately and in calm fashion.

"Arthur, your presence is needed with King Uther and the council. I can stay here and watch over Merlin while you are gone," he gladly offered. Gwaine did not know it but, he was drawn to Merlin just as Arthur was.

"Thank you. Gauis said to try and give Merlin some water every other hour and some of that potion," Arthur pointed to the bottle with the pain relief he had given to Merlin, "every three hours." Arthur thanked Gwaine once more before exiting the room. It pained Arthur to leave Merlin but the feeling did not show. Gwaine slowly paced around the room with nothing to do and occasionally looked over at Merlin until he stopped and simply stared down at the warlock who was fast asleep. He let out a slight sigh for a reason he wasn't sure of.

"How you doing, Merlin?" He knelt down beside the bed. He stayed there like that for a few moments before he stood up and began to walk around again. Gwaine grabbed a bread roll off the table and tossed it up into the air and caught it over and over as he made his way around the chambers. A low, soft grumble came from the bed, Gwaine turned his head to see a sleepy, but awake, Merlin. 

Gwaine smiled and tossed the roll at Merlin. Because he had only just woken up, Merlin's reflexes did not kick in and the bread smacked him in the face; which sent Gwaine into a small fit of laughter. Merlin groaned and fell back into the pillow. The nightmare he had earlier woke him up completely but, the easy slumber he had now was making waking up very difficult. Gwaine grabbed the glass of water and offered it to Merlin who drank it slowly as he woke up. 

"What time is it?" Merlin asked with a raspy voice.

"Probably around six. When was the last time you took your potion?" Gwaine responded, finally remembering the potion Arthur instructed him to give to Merlin.

"Must have been at one," he answered trying to recall the events of the day. Gwaine handed Merlin the potion. 

"You're need to take some more of this." Merlin took the bottle, thanked Gwaine, then had a few sips of the bitter liquid in the vile. He cringed at the foul taste and handed the bottle back to Gwaine who passed Merlin the water. 

"Thank you," Merlin drank the water to wash away the taste if his pain reliever. After handing back the glass, Merlin grabbed the roll off of the blanket and nibbled on it. He was not hungry but he felt extremely weak and shaky. "Where is Arthur?" He asked between bites. The question created a disappointed pinch in Gwaine's chest that he ignored without the usual ease. 

"He is with his father and the council, discussing important matters. How are you feeling?" He knew there was not much else he could do to help Merlin's health but. he felt like it was still important to ask. The question managed to send a soft, fuzzy feeling through Merlin's chest. "When has Arthur ever treated me so nicely?" he thought to himself. 

"I feel sore but, not in incredible pain," he smiled. 

"Good," Gwaine smiled, too. He loved seeing Merlin smile, especially because Merlin was pale and had bags beginning to form under his blue eyes. Their faces were close and Gwaine could not help leaning in closer. Merlin froze unsure of what to do as Gwaine leaned in. Both of their hearts beat fast and Gwaine's mind was calm, hopefully, and scared, Whereas, Merlin's raced with confusion. "Do I want this? Do I want him to kiss me? No. I love Arthur. Don't I? Is he as kind to me as Gwaine is? No. But-" The door swung open and Arthur stood in the door way. Paralyzed. His chest ached and he quickly cleared his throat to make them aware of his presence. Merlin turned to Arthur with wide eyes and Gwaine automatically stood up with a reddened face. The knight rapidly exited the room, passing Arthur without a word. 

"I-I didn't mean for that to happen, Arthur. I was going to stop him I swear," Merlin hurriedly scrambled out of bed and pain seared through his body. He slowly fell back into the bed while he continued to try to apologize and explain. 

"Get to sleep, Merlin," Arthur replied coldly and walked out the door, slamming the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was short, the next chapter should be longer.  
> I hope you liked it.  
> Please feel free to leave any tips, ideas, or constructive criticism!


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